Wife’s mother is being annoying!

I know this is cruel because I don’t want to separate my wife from her mother, but there doesn’t seem to be an alternative. What should I do?

My mother-in-law and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, from financial decisions to when my wife and I should have a child. This has been a problem from the start, and I have tolerated it because she is a widow and my wife is very attached to her. My wife also knows I struggle with this, but she asks me to be patient and cope with it because there is no other choice. It is starting to get to me though, and I am beginning to wonder if we should move to another city just to get away from her. If we continue this way, I am afraid it will damage my relationship with my wife and I don’t know how to fix it. I know this is cruel because I don’t want to separate my wife from her mother, but there doesn’t seem to be an alternative. What should I do?
You can speak to your mother-in-law as openly as possible if it has come to this. You’re right about it not being an ideal situation, but you should also consider that while moving to another city may improve your relationship with your mother-in-law, it won’t necessarily help with your wife who may not be able to accept your decision as easily. This is ultimately about communication and about three adults trying to find a way to get along because they have to. At the end of the day, this is your family, even if you have married into it, and you owe it to your wife to keep trying. You can ask her to speak with her mother too, so the onus of coping isn’t on you alone, and the two of you can also talk to a professional to develop coping mechanisms that can help. Either way, uprooting your lives and moving to another city isn’t a sensible way of dealing with things. To run away from a problem doesn’t magically make it go away, and often creates new ones.

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