After a year of slogging crowned by a dozen all-nighters at work, I found myself spending a lot of time staring at pictures of deserted Mediterranean sands, untouched blue lagoons and drinks with umbrellas in them
After a year of slogging crowned by a dozen all-nighters at work, I found myself spending a lot of time staring at pictures of deserted Mediterranean sands, untouched blue lagoons and drinks with umbrellas in them. I had to accept it ufffd I needed a holiday on the beach. So having found something approximating the bliss of isolation offered by those pictures, I packed my bags for Goa.
Excited at the prospect of a few days of lazy bliss, I promptly called my friends to inform them I'd be away.
Almost all of them asked me the same question. Not, 'where are you going?' but rather, "alone?"
Arriving in Goa, the cabbie also asked me, "Alone?" "Yes," I replied. "Then why are you going so far away, madam?" "Er," I said, "I kind of want to be alone."
Thereafter, we drove in puzzled silence. As I left for home, the cabbie asked me, "Good holiday? Your companions left before you?" "No, I came alone." After a perplexed pause he said, "It's very important to marry at the right time."
"Really?" I laughed. "How do you know that? Did you marry at the right time?" "No," he replied. "I didn't. That's why I'm saying."
Thereupon I was saved (depending how you look at it) by further silly questions, by his monologue about his personal troubles, which he interrupted only when he wanted to point out important sights (that's the Vidhan Sabha. That's Sai Service, etc.)
I was so struck by all this that on returning I proceeded to ask all my friends if they'd ever gone on a holiday alone, just for leisure or pleasure. Except one, no one had, not even the arty ones.
As for me, I do it often. I go to the cinema alone sometimes, or to dinner at a nice restaurant, when I'm in the mood, or sit by the sea for a bit. I can confidently recommend the experience of doing something nice by yourself.
Travelling alone has downsides ufffd it's more expensive without folks to split costs with; as a woman you have to be a little more conscious of staying safe; it's not easy to go dancing. Yet these are not the reasons people hesitate.
Some say it never occurred to them. Others say, it'll be boring. And here I've been thinking it was misery that loves company. But if you're bored in your own company then you may need to worry how others feel with you; or consider what's so scary about your own thoughts that you must avoid them in a crowd.
The truth is, most people worry that it makes them look a little loser-like. As that no one wants them on their team. They worry about the thin line between solitude and loneliness.
To travel alone is to be in a landscape without distraction and forget yourself, and what the world requires from you. By being utterly quiet, it is to remind yourself what you're really like.
It seems to me, especially in a culture like ours, where the group, the family, the herd are so emphasised, and people are nervous of sticking out or going against the tide, that it might be very good practice for life in general. Spending time on your own, far from being scary, is in fact a most special pleasure you can have any time.
Once you see the fun in it, you might see the fun in saying you don't agree with others, when you don't agree with them and in doing your own thing when not on holiday. I can confidently recommend that as well.
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Paromita Vohra is an award-winning Mumbai-based filmmaker, writer and curator working with
fiction and non-fiction. Reach her at www.parodevi.com.
The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.
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