Sex goes missing from urban marriages

When Madonna and Guy Ritchie's marriage crumbled recently, they had been sexless for as long as 18 months.

Popstar Madonna wasn't far off the mark when she said: "Love and sex are two different things". Her marriage to director Guy Ritchie which crumbled recently had been sexless for as long as 18 months.

Rumour has it that she was too tired for love due to her gruelling daily 4-hour workouts. A close friends revealed: "They would often sleep in separate rooms after major rows, so there was no chance to make up."

No sex better than extra-marital affair
Things are no different out here. Emotional incompatibility is the reason for separation in almost 2 out of 5 persons, that is 30%, says a new survey by the portal SecondShaadi.com.

Other popular reasons were change of attitude from before marriage, extramarital affairs and not surprisingly sexual incompatibility.

"As long as a couple is happy together, how does it matter?", asks supermodel Mugdha Godse. She played a woman who marries a gay designer in Madhur Bhandarkar's film, Fashion: "In real life, I'd never make such a sacrifice. Of course, such things do happen; and it's fine. Better an honest marriage without sex than spouses having secret extramarital affairs."

As Susan Yager-Berkowitz, who co-authored (with her husband) "Why Men Stop Having Sex: The Phenomenon of Sexless Relationships and What You Can Do About It", said, "If a couple is content with intimacy less than once a month, and happily married, I doubt they would refer to themselves as having a sexless marriageu2026 and neither would we."

All that matters is that partners are in SYNC
Sexologist Dr Deepak Arora, says, "For some people, the idea of a sexless marriage is unthinkable.

For others, it may be a trade off in an otherwise happy relationship. The key of course, is making sure that both partners' views are in sync."

If you have to, Schedule Sex time
When a couple has had a long period say, several months without sex, it's important to address the problem, so that months don't become years. Here's what experts suggest:
Schedule sex
Opt for counselling
Develop an action plan
Work on your own attractiveness
Have a heart-to-heart... now!

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