Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
I'd do anything for her love, but she won't love me!
Dear Diana,
We've been married for a year now. She is just 19 years old (it was a marriage based on mutual understanding). She was doing her FYJC. Four months back, I discovered that she was having a love affair with her collegemate, who was unaware that she was married. At first it was too hard to digest. Then I managed to talk to her to find out what she wants. Her boyfriend came to know that she is married and he advised her not to be in touch with him and to be good to me. I care a lot for her, so I tried convincing her and her boyfriend that if they are willing to live together and get married in future, I would not be an obstacle and I'm ready for a divorce if they promise to take care of each other. However, my wife chose not to divorce and broke the relationship with her boyfriend and discontinued her studies. For three months, she's been living with me. Though she's been normal, she's always crying. She conceived my baby and was not happy about it though the baby was conceived on a mutual agreement. I am worried a lot for her since I never knew what's wrong with her. She doesn't want to leave me but she stays with me and says she hates me. I want to have a healthy relationship with her. I' m deeply concerned about her happiness. I've sacrificed nearly every- thing for her by controlling my desires for love, care and sex and I've been longing for a normal husband-wife relationship which is a distant dream now. I always see to that her needs are fulfilled in every manner but she never understands my love for her.
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Anuraag
Dear Anuraag,
I don't understand what kind of mutual understanding the two of you reached. it doesn't seem mutual at all. Also, any kind of compromise in matters of the heart are bound to go before a fall. She seems naive and so 'not ready' to be married that it isn't funny. You gave her an option of leaving you if it meant that she'd be happy. She didn't take that option (for whatever reason) and is ruing it now. But even if one were take into consideration that there is an understanding in place, it would be equally naive to expect her to honour a commitment made. She might have agreed to be the mother of your child, but will she love that child... that remains to be seen. She gave upu00a0 on her dreams without any compulsion from you. From the sound of it, you have always looked out for her interests over your own, only to be turned down time after time. I don't think you deserve this kind of pain and torture. Ask her to sort out her act ASAP. She's pregnant now,so it would be best to let matters lie for now. But this is something that needs to be receiving attention.
I can't live without her
Dear Diana,
My girlfriend is a very nice and intelligent woman. She is the stepdaughter of a retired teacher and they belong to a different religion. Her family members are really not keen on a lasting relationship with my family. I want to marry her and cannot live without her.
Gyanaranjan
Dear Gyanaranjan,
A marriage of individuals usually means a marriage of families and hence, it becomes very difficult to avoid their importance in your significant other's life. You cannot live without her, she cannot marry you without their blessings... it becomes a vicious circle. Find out wht (other than the religion factor) they aren't keen on a relationship fructifying between the two of you.
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