Only the lonely: four ways to connect with others

Want to feel less lonely?

John Cacioppo, Ph.D., author of several books including Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection and professor at the University of Chicago, explained in Psychology Today, a bi-monthly magazine, how four steps can break the cycle of loneliness.

The basis of the four-step method is E.A.S.E, an acronym for extend yourself, action plan, selection, and expect the best.

Step 1 - Extend yourself
The key is to make an effort to step out of your comfort zone, which isn't very comfortable if you are lonely. Cacioppo recommends getting involved with a charity or volunteering your time to experience a new and different social environment.

Step 2 - Action plan
Don't set yourself up for failure: Take an honest look at your strengths and time commitments to find social outlets that will enhance your quality of life and not cause more stress. One example offered is for shy individuals to consider working with animals. In any case, make a plan and give yourself the ability to be in control.

Step 3 - Selection
Selecting whom you want to be in your in social circle is important. People surrounded by numerous "friends" are not necessarily free from loneliness. In finding social connectedness, it is important to find quality connections with people who share similar interests. So frequent places that incorporate your interests.

Step 4 - Expect the Best
Start thinking more positively. Optimism will draw a more consistent and positive response from others and help reinforce social connectedness. As you become more open and positive about new situations and people, subtle changes can happen in your attitude and perception of loneliness.