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On the road to self-discovery after battling mental illness, actor Eijaz Khan talks about how his life lessons have prepared him for Bigg Boss 14 stint.
Eijaz Khan
Those who have followed the reality show's previous seasons understand that it is a test of patience and diplomacy. Living with 14 strangers under constant supervision can push one over the edge, but Khan said he won't be affected. "If there is a reasonable argument, I will listen and reflect [before I react]. Now that I love and respect myself a little more, I perceive others similarly. Having said that, if someone tries to unleash the monster in me, they are welcome. [My cool demeanour] doesn't mean I am happy all the time. In fact, I am angry all the time."
At 45, the actor today is contemplative and in seeking control of his life. Looking back on the past, he acknowledges that the baggage he carried from his parents' separation in his childhood affected his relationships. "[Over the years], I have made other people's lives miserable without realising that I was hurting myself more than them. I have had to accept myself when the success went to my head and I made the wrong choices. Over the years, I have understood my trauma patterns and why I was acting out. That road to self-discovery has prepared me for the show. You could say I have been prepping for this show for the last 20 years," said the Tanu Weds Manu actor.
He is under no illusion that the coming three months will be a cakewalk. "No matter how much you prepare yourself, what happens inside is a different ballgame altogether. What is the point in strategising to showcase only your good side? You can't hold pretences for that long. At the end of the day, the audience will relate to you only if you show your true self, even if that means you are an a**hole."
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