Orry not sorry: India's trans community reacts to the socialite's use of a slur

Anger gushes through the phone as this writer picks it up ldquoIf he wants to use that word he should come live like us for a dayrdquo says Nandini Sabban a trans woman belonging to the hijra community The word shersquos talking about is ldquochkardquo mdash a slur casually used by socialite Orhan Awatramani better known as Orry to his audience of 20 lakh followers on Instagram The influencer used the slur to describe two actors dressed up as trans women in a viral comedy video last week For Sabban and thousands like her itrsquos no joke itrsquos a reminder that even within the queer community some lives are still treated as punchlinesldquoHe should step out into the streets like us every day He should try getting laser shots get implants beg on the streets get abused every dayrdquo says the 26yearold fuming ldquoOnly then can he use this wordrdquoWe received no response from Orryrsquos team by the time this went to press Under his post he commented ldquoSomeone said when the mascot betrayed the teamrdquo The post was one more time the trans community was treated as a gag this time with the endorsement of a prominent queer person Walking away is a privilege only someone like Orry has Although he doesnrsquot make direct declarations of his sexuality in a birthday post this year the influencer said ldquoBeing gay was fun but now I am 30 and itrsquos time for a wife and kidsrdquo His privilege stands so tall that he can just choose to stop being gay But Sabban is transgender and always will beYadnya Ankita now lives with her chosen dad Charles Arthur WilliamsSlurs have been weaponised against trans folk across the board But it hurts especially when it comes from within the queer community But despite many shared struggles LGBTQIA circles too are riddled with casteism and classismAccording to a National Human Rights Commission report from 2018 nearly 92 per cent of transgender individuals in India are unable to participate in any form of economic activity forcing them into poverty There was no trans recognition in the census up until 2011 and consequently they were deprived of targeted trans welfare schemes as wellThe last census in 2011 found that 2098 per cent of the trans population belongs to scheduled castes Only 561 per cent of trans people are literate compared to 73 per cent of the total population All of this goes to show that trans folk are at the fringes of an already marginalised community vulnerable to upperclass savarna men mdash even within the queer community mdash punching down on themIpsita ChatterjeeSabban dreams of being an actor She points out that the two people being called slurs in the video werenrsquot trans but men crossdressing for a skit ldquoMen crossdressing for the jokes causes stereotypes in peoplersquos minds They think we are nothing but men dressed up as women for attention And then people like me donrsquot get offered substantial roles Because of their mediocre humourrdquo she says ldquoHe is privileged He can look down upon us As hijras wersquore already hated upon by mostrdquo she says ldquoItrsquos internalised homophobia Queer people can sometimes be the biggest homophobes and transphobes Thatrsquos the ironyrdquo she says with frustrationQueeraffirmative psychotherapist Ipsita Chatterjee tells us ldquoSocial hierarchies exist within all communities Even among women there is a hierarchy of straight women savarna and so on It doesnrsquot make it okay but gay people operate within the same flawed problematic structures as heterosexual people While they are also navigating systemic oppression they end up holding on to some of the prejudices that maybe donrsquot affect them as muchrdquoGay people too face prejudice from the mainstream Oppressing others then becomes a way to conform to gain acceptance ldquoWhen operating from that place of privilege one holds on to these prejudices to guarantee a place for themself in societyrdquo says Chatterjee who has her own therapy practice called Thehraav where she specialises in working with those on the marginsTrinetra Gummaraju believes that gay men become transphobic in trying very hard to appease the privileged straight folk around themldquoHaving said that I do think we hold those in the margins to a higher standardrdquo says Chatterjee referring to how queer people are likely to get more bashed for the same behaviour than straight folk ldquoThe expectation of empathy and solidarity towards one another is greater than it is from someone who is obviously oppressive or in a more privileged positionrdquoThe case of Orry still remains disheartening ldquoSome of his fans or some of the queer people Irsquove worked with say lsquoItrsquos so nice to now see queer people being accepted in the industryrsquo There is a generation looking up to him and thinking lsquoThere is hopersquordquo Chatterjee says ldquoWhen you have a position of power you should use it to increase awareness instead of adding to the problemrdquoldquoLike the Ganga changes names as she flows through different regions my own journey has taken many shapes over the yearsrdquo Sabban says ldquoWhen I was younger even I was transphobic I looked at the hijra community and thought lsquoWhy are they like thisrsquo It was a long journey to understand myself And then you see someone like this talk about your community in such a derogatory way It breaks your heartrdquoYadnya Ankita was a 19yearold undergraduate when she decided to transition socially and medically One of her bullies at college was a cisgender closeted gay classmate ldquoHe misgendered me intentionally Time and again he disrespected me refused to accept my gender Eventually I had to drop out of collegerdquo she sighsThe alienation extends even to the community events trans people can go to ldquoThings are getting better now but before they were dominated by elitist classist casteist people They look down on trans people because we donrsquot fit their lsquopalatablersquo definitionsrdquoldquoOne time at a party this cis gay man refused to let my trans friend go into the ladiesrsquo room He said you are a man You cannot go in thererdquo she recalls ldquoBut we are women He caused a scene in front of everyone talking about her genitals in public And in the end the organisers banned my friend from the club No action against the man who created the issue And this is supposed to be a LGBTQIA affirmative clubrdquoWhen the government turns its back on them trans folk turn to the queer community for supportDenying access to queer spaces doesnrsquot just deprive trans folk of friendship it removes a muchneeded sense of solidarity from their life It takes away the chance for them to find their ldquochosen familyrdquoldquoNot all gay men are the same Irsquove been living with my chosen dad Charles Arthur Williams for four years now Hersquos been advocating about gay and trans rights I also have a best friend named Sanchit a proud and loud cis gay man who has been a huge support since the beginning of my transitioningrdquo Yadnya tells this writer with much pride in her voiceAt 26 she has just quit her corporate job to build something of her own a step made possible by the support of those who came before her A little solidarity can go a long wayFor 28yearold Trinetra Gummaraju actor influencer and one of Indiarsquos most recognisable trans voices none of what is unfolding online feels new Before she stepped into the public eye Gummaraju was a doctor someone trained to see structures of inequity systemically So when she watches queer communities fracture along old caste and class lines her assessment is cleareyed almost clinicalldquoEvery country has divides of various kindsrdquo she begins drawing parallels across borders ldquoFor example in the American queer movement Black and brown queer and trans people were always ostracised and disproportionately affected by poverty the AIDS crisis unemployment etc Cis white gay men tended to dominate spaces often marrying women to be able to put up the faccedilade of the good American manrdquoIt is a hierarchy that she points out maps eerily onto the Indian context too ldquoThe most privileged in our community mdash often cis gay men savarna and elite mdash play into the lsquogood gayrsquo narrative often pandering to the wealthiest even if they are deeply misogynistic and transphobic Yoursquoll find gay men becoming transphobic themselvesrdquo she explains ldquoThe sentiment is lsquoIrsquom better than those people Irsquom very much like yoursquordquoIn that scramble to appear more palatable to straight cis society something far deeper gets lost ldquoIn trying very hard to appease the privileged straight folk around them itrsquos sad that many hate themselves mdash to the point of wanting to erase any part of them that resembles the queer community Even basic empathy and humanity at timesrdquoIf that sounds harsh Gummaraju grounds it in the brutal reality of being trans in India today The gulf between the lived experiences of trans people and the rest of the queer community is staggering ldquoTrans people in India are one of the most marginalised communitiesrdquo she says ldquoWe have one of the lowest literacy employment healthcare access familial acceptance rates The vast majority are disowned homeless selling their bodies for a living We do not enjoy the privilege of being closeted once we come out the whole world knows and sees which means wersquore both visible and vulnerablerdquoldquoWersquove seen this sort of alienation play out during Pride parades for example both in the West and in Indiardquo she explains ldquoTrans folk are often sidelined and the whole affair becomes an expensive party pandering to the tastes of the richrdquoThere is she admits at least a legal starting point ldquoThankfully we have a starting point with the Trans Persons Act which punishes harassment against us but its implementation and severity of punishment are questionablerdquoShe pauses before adding almost gently ldquoIt is quite sad indeed I would only hope that we all actively cultivate love and empathy within ourselves for ourselves Only when you love yourself and your queerness do you start to see how much selfhatred yoursquore projecting onto the worldrdquoSupport from withinVivek AnandVivek Anand completed 30 years in Humsafar Trust this year ldquoBut when we were forming Humsafar a lot of friends and wellwishers felt that we shouldnrsquot bring in trans folk into the conversation because somehow that would send out mixed signalsrdquo That being the fear that heteronormative people would feel all gay men were transgenderIn the decades since Anand has put his fears and biases aside ldquoI was at a crossroads my irrational fear over what was right There cannot be any room for divisive politics in the communityrdquo says the man who went on to form a chosen family with four trans daughters ldquoI lost two of them one to HIV and one to a freak electric shock accidentrdquo he sharesTrans women have been at the frontlines of the fight for queer rights but the community especially gay men have yet to fully embrace them he admits ldquoBut not all gay menrdquo he insistsTrans icon reactsHarish IyerTrans activist Harish Iyer says ldquoWersquove been vilified historically Such humour cannot be accepted We are the punchline of every joke And most times I ignore it But this was no accidental slip of tongue His actions were deliberate So I felt the need to speak uprdquo says Iyer referring to his own viral video on Instagram calling out OrryBut he also tempers his censure with the reminder that queer folk are also just people ldquoWe are not a homogenous community We have rightwing people and leftists There are transphobic gay men and misogynistic trans women Every permutation and combination exists Why do we assume greatness in someone belonging to a marginalised community Why should there be more of a burden on the queer community Havenrsquot there been cases where I have been called casteist And I was casteist So it doesnrsquot mean if you belong to a certain community you will be sensitive to all issuesrdquo