In her now famous TED Talk, Why Happy Couples Cheat, world-famous psychotherapist known for her work on human relationships, Esther Perel says that infidelity can be a sign of something we rarely think about — an expression of longing and loss. She sees affairs as a catalyst to talk about things we never talk about, and encourages people to not be termed as victims or perpetrators. As she says in her talk, “Affairs are way less about sex, and a lot more about desire: desire for attention, desire to feel special, desire to feel important.” 

The couple at Coldplay — Andy Byron, the married chief executive of Astronomer, a software development company, and Kristin Cabot, its head of human resources — didn’t know what hit them last week when they were caught on the Kiss Cam. Byron has since stepped down from his role. They looked like a couple in love, and not just lust. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that they cheated. The question remains: did they deserve the public shaming? Can we even try and listen to their PoV?

In a recent episode of Sex and the City reboot, And Just Like That, Carrie forgives Aidan for sleeping with another woman: because of course, they are in a long-distance relationship and everyone has needs. In the Gen Z favourite, The Summer I Turned Pretty, the lead character Belly takes back Jeremiah, even agreeing to marry him, after he cheats on her— because she knows it’s a “mistake”. But in real life, is it easy? Or is it a no-way scenario? We speak to various experts to get you the tea.