Why relationships need expiry dates

I have a tin of canned tuna in spring water in my fridge door I bought several cans of the stuff around Christmas of 2017 when my son normally resident in Canada visited me Back then he had a thing about tuna melts with lots of Provolone cheeseWhen he left for Canada though one tin remained unused Five years later it is still in exactly the same place in my fridge uneaten and unlikely to be because I donrsquot really fancy tuna But itrsquos nearing Christmas people will be dropping by Shall I serve them a nice salad with fiveyearold tuna or would I be setting them up for food poisoning Whatrsquos your adviceThe expiry label on the tin says lsquoBest Before April 17 2023rsquo Should I trust it though Can any seafood last five yearsThese days almost any comestible you buy has a date after which you should trash it The labels are confusing Besides lsquoBest Beforersquo and lsquoUse Byrsquo you also have lsquoSell Byrsquo and lsquoExpiration Datersquo What if I donrsquot mind secondbest Could I ignore the Best Before datePeople want safety lsquoexpiredrsquo food typically goes straight into trash Add up all that trashed food and yoursquod get 13 billion tonnes a year globally including expired food unsold food and leftoversFor those who compulsively check the labels on foods they buy expiry dates are mostly useless lsquoBest Byrsquo is just a quality assurance best treated as a suggestion Expiry labels are not about food safetyThe US Food Safety and Inspection Service says ldquoWith the exception of infant formula if the expiry date on your food passes during home storage the product should still be safe and wholesome if handled properly until the time spoilage is evidentrdquoWhich brings me to the bigger question What else in life has an expiry date Your job will lsquoexpirersquo around 60 leaving you a retiree Subscriptions expire and are either renewed or not Oils go rancid Credit cards and passports expire Agreements expireLet me go out on a limb and ask Are there things that should have an expiry date but donrsquot For example do relationships have an expiry date Should theyIn a world where everything expires sooner or later human beings choose to believe against all evidence to the contrary that love somehow never dies and that bonds of friendships are eternal Itrsquos implicit in BFFmdashBest Friends Forever The same fond wish is enshrined in Christian marriages vowsmdashldquoto love and cherish till death do us partrdquoBound by this idiotic covenant both people ignore the small red flags that signal that all is not well too many resigned sighs too little agreement on well just about everything long and uneasy silences no more surprises or candlelit eveningsldquoItrsquos hard to feel romantic towards someone yoursquove seen sitting on a toiletrdquo one man brutally excuses himself But the reality is familiarmdashmost relationships shine and then sour They have an expiry dateBut a younger less rosyeyed generation already understands expiry dates instinctively Theyrsquove understood that things other than death can pull two people apart much earlier You may be attracted to someone who prefers a quiet pastoral life rather than your partyhopping urban life Maybe he wants kids and you donrsquot Maybe he thinks a woman should be a cook a housekeeper and the chief bottle washer and you believe you were meant to shine as a ballerina Or shersquos off in 10 months to do her Masters in Anthropology in Dartmouth but you have your business to mindAll these relationships have a Best Before date attached both people know itmdashand yet somehow theyrsquove decided to give it a goExpiration dating is the name for getting immersed in a romantic relationship whose end is known and guaranteed I find something thrillingly beautiful about it How would relationships go if both persons started with an agreement that it would end by a certain date unless both wanted to renew itSuddenly nothing would be a mystery the word forever would fly out the window The future would be known with 100 per cent certainty and false expectations would disappear All you both know is that time is limited and you must make each moment unforgettable Therersquos no room any longer for the very things that strip the romance from a relationshipmdashsameness predictability taking each other for granted ignoring boundaries because you believe there will be no consequencesLive like this and when the expiry date comes you may find that you want nothing more than to extend everything by another yearThere is though one expiration we can do nothing about We are all born with our Use By date though we have learned to pretend to be ageless right till we realise wersquore just as perishable as wilted cabbages and will be disposed of just as quicklyMaybe those wedding vows should say ldquoto love and cherish each other till one of us expiresrdquoYou can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper