Valentine's Day 2025: Loved or love bombed? Here's how to differentiate

From red roses to candlelight dinners gifts dates special experiences and compliments abound as we welcome the season of love For many this time of the year also proves to be an opportunity to express feelings and let new relationships blossom While this affection and attention may be exciting it can also harbour deeper and darker intentionsLove bombing a term that has gained prominence in the dating world refers to a person going above and beyond for someone and showering them with excessive love and affection to manipulate them into a relationship or establishing control and emotional dependencyStand your ground against early signs of manipulation in a relationshipNamrata Jain a Mumbaibased counselling psychologist and couples therapist explains ldquoAt first being showered with attention compliments and thoughtful gifts feels like a dream come true Who wouldnrsquot love that But as Irsquove seen in my practice sometimes these actions arenrsquot just about celebrating your partner but a way to control or manipulate them In many cases love bombing is used to make someone feel so emotionally dependent that it becomes hard to say lsquonorsquo later onrdquoEffect on relationshipsIn the early stages love bombing can feel like lsquorainbows and unicornsrsquo mdash too magical and beautiful to question However these actions can make a relationship suffer Jain reveals ldquoI remember a couple I once counselled letrsquos call them Priya and Arjun Arjun was heads over heels in love with Priya and expressed the same in grand gestures constant messages surprise visits and gifts that made her feel incredibly special But as time went on Priya began to feel overwhelmed The constant intensity made her lose sight of her own interests and friendships What started as a whirlwind romance slowly turned into a situation where she felt smothered and controlled Eventually the relationship suffered because the initial charm gave way to anxiety and a sense of entrapmentrdquoNamrata JainldquoThis is a story Irsquove heard more than once when love is too overwhelming it can stifle the very connection itrsquos meant to nurture Genuine love grows gradually allowing space for both partners to be themselvesrdquo she remarks Relationship counsellor Ruchi Ruuh explains ldquoExcessive love communication or affection can lead to a person feeling overwhelmed when they are not given space to think beyond the relationship A person might experience cycles of extreme highs of affection followed by manipulation silent treatment or control This can create confusion selfdoubt and even insecurity in the person as they might not understand what part of the relationship is true Over time this dynamic can create an unhealthy attachment making it difficult to leave even when the relationship gets toxic or emotionally drainingrdquoRuchi RuuhLove or love bombingItrsquos key to note that not every romantic gesture masks ill intent ldquoSome are naturally expressive and affectionate in relationships without intending to manipulate or controlrdquo says Ruuh ldquoGenuine affection is consistent respects boundaries and you see a natural progression over a period of time Love bombing is however intense overwhelming and often feels superficial or rushed It could manifest as a need for constant communication or unrealistic promises for the future of the relationship Genuine love allows space for individuality while love bombing may feel suffocating or aimed at gaining controlrdquo she explainsJain shares the red flagsgtgtExcessive compliments and gifts Constant barrage of messages unexpected gifts and similar actions can seem flattering but if they come too fast and too frequently they might be a way to win someone over too quicklygtgtFastpaced relationship Relationships generally follow a natural pace getting to know each other slowly integrating into each otherrsquos lives and eventually involving the family However if the relationship is moving too fast and future plans are being made too soon it can sometimes be a red flaggtgt Isolation tactics An important sign to look out for is when your partner begins to discourage you from spending time with friends or family Love should make you feel supported not isolatedldquoThe next time you find yourself swept away by grand romantic gestures take a moment to pause and reflect Is this really nurturing our bond or is it overwhelming itrdquo Jain warnsThe way forwardIf one discovers that they are being love bombed and are in an unhealthy relationship Ruuh believes it might be difficult to get out of it due to cycles of positive reinforcements ldquoWith excess emotional dependency a person might find it hard to quit the relationshiprdquo she saysIt is important to be consistent with affection for your partnerHowever she suggests ways to navigate the situationgtgtAcknowledge that itrsquos an intense relationship where affection is followed by control and manipulation Real healthy love doesnrsquot feel this waygtgt If itrsquos hard to break up start with reducing contact avoid emotional conversations and stand your ground against manipulationgtgt Many find themselves isolated from their usual friends as the relationship takes up most of their time and energy Reconnect with friends family or a therapist who can offer guidance and emotional supportgtgt Itrsquos important to plan your exit strategy If you share finances or a house have a clear plan for leaving safelygtgt If they continue the manipulation or you are deeply affected by it block their number and social media if necessary to prevent them from pulling you back inThe other sideYour overt romantic gestures can also end up making your partner feel suffocated or manipulated maybe unintentionally Ruuh and Jain share the following tips to keep it balancedgtgt Be authentic with your expressions of love Donrsquot try to act extra to get your partnerrsquos attention or affection Talk about how you both prefer to give and receive love Knowing each otherrsquos lsquolove languagesrsquo can prevent misunderstandings and ensure that both of you feel appreciated in ways that are comfortable and genuine gtgt Respect boundaries and personal space Encourage your partner to nurture their own hobbies and interests Supporting their personal space can actually strengthen your bond gtgt Be consistent rather than shifting between intense affection and withdrawalgtgt Focus on emotional connection create intimacy through communication and shared experiences rather than just grand gestures Instead of bombarding your partner with texts and grand gestures every hour try simple things A handwritten note tucked into their bag or a lsquothank yoursquo for something small can mean a lotgtgt Think of planning regular distractionfree time together like a weekly dinner where you both cook a meal or a peaceful evening walk In our fastpaced lives even a small routine can provide a deep sense of connection without overwhelming each othergtgt Avoid confusion regarding the present and future of the relationship by having a discussion around expectations