Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Mommy says, 'Job first, and then a girlfriend!'
Dear Diana,
I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend. I recently completed my education and am looking around at trainee positions in companies, hoping to learn something as I climb the corporate ladder. Meanwhile, this is going to take time. My mom insists I study further and that I don't have a girlfriend until I land a permanent job. Given the way things are, I don't see that happening any time soon. My father left us when I was a kid and my mother's demands mean the world to me. She hardly makes any, anyway. And while she might be right in her own way, I have rejected proposals of love that came my way because I couldn't bear to break my mom's trust. I'd never be able to live that down. However, I feel lonelier than ever, my friends understand but I'm afraid, they laugh at me behind my back. I'm sure if she got to know one of these girls, she'd like someone. I don't understand why she's restricting me from going out and meeting people.
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Urmesh
Dear Urmesh,
Sometimes, the best things come to those who wait. While one would like to think this is the norm rather than the expection, it doesn't always hold true. You spend years building a career, without a companion to see you through those ups and downs, someone to share those hopes and frustrations with... and you end up a very bitter person indeed. Agreed, fate hasn't dealt your mom a fair hand. But I think she ought to let you make your mistakes, rather than protect you. It will help you experience stuff, grow through those experiences and mould your outlook to life. We have our family, but sometimes that isn't enough. We need someone we can be ourselves with.
They just don't seem to get the point
Dear Diana,
I'm 23. I have three very close friends who have been with me through good and lean times, over the last eight years. I'm never ever kept anything from them. Except this. I will be leaving for the US in a few days for a two-year course. I haven't broken the news to them because a) it happened at very short notice and I was informed at the last minute; b) I don't know how they'll take it; c) If I do tell them, they'll say that I purposely broke it to them on the eve of my departure. Which isn't true at all! How do I make them understand?
ABC
Dear Friend,
If they are your friends, they will understand that these things happen. There is very little in life one actually has complete control over. You have to tell them, though. Rather than have them hear it from someone else. Convince them that it is only for a short while and that given the kind of communication options available today, keeping in touch won't be a problem. That being out of sight won't mean being out of mind.
She says I misunderstood her!
Dear Diana,
I have a childhood friend. We've grown up together. Now I'm 19 and she is 18. She's always been kinda fond of me and has one occasion even kissed me on the lips. She always says 'I love you to me'. I don't know how I could have possibly read this otherwise. When I recently told her I love her and would want to marry her in the future, she freaked out. She said she never meant it that way. What other way could she possibly mean it?
Manishu00a0
Dear Manish,
Friends have expressions of endearment for those they're exceptionally close to. That doesn't mean that they'll see everyone they say 'i love you' to, as prospective partners. And besides, when a kiss is more than just a friendly kiss (even on the lips),u00a0 you will know. You're dwelling too much in the past and it could probably mean that she's fond of you, but has never thought of marrying you
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