He loves me to bits but he lied about being married!

He loves me to bits but he lied about being married!

Dear Diana,
We met in a train in September last year. He proposed friendship but I said no because he's very mischievious. In time, he sobered down. I said sorry, we became friends. I asked him if he was married; he said no. I told him never to lie to me. We'd talk long hours. He'd ask me about my family and tell me about his. He had helped me a lot financially and supported and loved me a lot and I found that I couldn't bear to live without him. I came to know that he is married and has a 11-month-old child. He always wants me to see happy as i have taken lot of trouble in life. I am an emotional girl so he saysu00a0 that he'd tell me when he felt I was strong enough to accept the truth.We had physical relation also but he never forced me. I told him that he should have told me the truth. He says he was afraid I'd leave him. He says he wanted a wife like me. He is going to divorce his wife because she doesn't care for him or his family. He says he'll marry me but that I'd have to take care of his child. That day, I consumed posion and he came over and made me throw it all up. Should I accept him with his kid or break it off. I am afraid my family and friends may disown me. Should I marry a married person?

Illustration/Sameer Pawar

Shefali

Dear Shefali,
All said and done, you shouldn't feel indebted to him. That said, you should never have accepted any favours. What is really disturbing is that he should have told you very clearly that not only was he married but that he also had a child. You might not be the reason for the break-up of his marriage but you'll surely be blamed for playing a part. The accusation may not hold for people who know you well, but remember this, he willfully knew that he was lying to you. That he kept things hidden for your own good is no excuse at all!

I want him back...

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I had sex. In January, I became pregnant. He bought some tablets and made me consume them. The child got aborted. These days he's not interested in me. What should I do to impress him? Please help me. I love him so much.

Jujuu00a0

Dear Juju,
Clearly, this guy is bad news. He is a responsibility shirker and can never be seen as good father material, even in the future. If he was bothered about you in the first place, he would have ensured that he used a condom and to make doubly sure, that you used a contraceptive pill with your explicit consent. Making you consume pills without your consent is wrong. I don't understand why you're still interested in this guy. Nothing you do will be enough to impress him. He's just someone who uses people and then throws them away. You'll be better off without him.

Pyar kiya hai magar nibhaane se darta hoon!

Dear Diana,
We were friends and I was in love with her. I proposed to her two years ago and waited for her answer. After two years, she said yes. For six months now, we've been in a relationship. For one, we're going through a lot of problems. We often fight for no reason at all. When we were friends I could say anything to her. Now I have to be careful about what I say. The biggest problem is that my family will never allow me to marry her. She says she will have to marry someone else then. What should I do? I am really confused.

Mayank

Dear Mayank,
Two years? You must be out of your mind to wait two years for a woman you knew you'd never marry. The fights you've been having with this girl are not for no reason, it's because of your disgust about the circumstances of your situation and her insecurities at having been led on, into a relationship that has no foreseeable future. If you ask me, this entire relationship was a waste of time. I think she would be better off marrying someone who has the courage to stand by her side and fight to be with her all the days of his life.

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