Here’s what you need to know about self-compassion and why it is important

People often outline ambitious goals to keep themselves motivated at the start of the new year but most often than not they are not able to keep up with them through the year While goal setting is essential for personal and professional growth it is critical to remember that growth need not be linear Setbacks may trigger feelings of guilt shame and inadequacy but they are a part of that journeySelfkindness and compassion is the pathway to understanding yourself better and enables you to navigate the challenges in life Practicing forgiveness and cultivating compassion can be a testing journey for some who have to learn to acknowledge efforts recognise limitations and limit selfcriticismWith four months into the year mental health experts delve into the benefits of cultivating selfcompassion building resilience and practical ways to be kinder to yourself a reminder that is need often in our busy livesWhat is selfcompassionDr Amit Malik psychiatrist and founder and CEO of Amaha Health says ldquoSelfcompassion is about treating yourself with understanding and kindness especially when youre grappling with negative thoughtsmdashlike after a setback or failure Think of the compassion youd show a close friend or loved one if they made a mistakemdashselfcompassion is about giving that same understanding to yourselfrdquoAccording to psychologist Kristen Neff selfcompassion has three key elements1 Selfkindness Treating yourself with care and understanding rather than being selfcritical2 Common humanity Remembering that mistakes and struggles are part of being humanmdashyoursquore not alone in this3 Mindfulness Being aware of your negative thoughts and feelings without overidentifying with or suppressing themItrsquos important to understand that selfcompassion isnrsquot about letting yourself off the hook ldquoIn a world so focused on success being kind to yourself during tough times might feel like yoursquore not pushing hard enough But selfcompassion is about fostering wellbeing not avoiding accountabilitymdashand recognising that is the first steprdquo Dr Malik remindsHow is selfcompassion different from selfpity or selfindulgenceKnowing the differences between selfpity selfindulgence and selfcompassion can help cultivate a healthier sense of self ldquoSelfpity often feels isolating Itrsquos believing that nobody understands what you are going through This focus on setbacks can make you feel less capable and erode your selfworth On the other hand selfcompassion acknowledges that struggles are a shared part of the human experience It helps you feel more connected and resilient empowering you to address challenges proactively rather than sinking into helplessnessrdquo he outlinesHe also believes that while selfindulgence might mean avoiding discomfort or prioritising shortterm gratification over longterm wellbeing selfcompassion involves a balanced approach ldquoSelfcompassion allows you to let go of harsh selfjudgment without ignoring what truly serves your overall wellbeing For example during the holidays or a new year selfcompassion might look like not beating yourself up for breaking routine or indulging a little But it also means being mindful of not overindulging in ways that could harm your longterm health or happinessrdquo the expert concludes The detrimental impact of societal expectationsDr Sameer Malhotra senior director and head mental health and behavioural sciences Max Super Speciality Hospital in Saket observes ldquoMany people tend to struggle with selfcompassion as they often feel guilty about focusing on their own wellbeing worrying that it might make them appear selfish or selfindulgentrdquoHe further says that this mindset of putting others first and valuing selfsacrifice is primarily shaped by societal expectations ldquoSocietal and achievement pressures make it hard for one to slow down and show some compassion to oneself as a lot of us are conditioned to chase goals and measure success by reaching certain milestones in life This focus on outcomes rather than appreciating the journey leaves little room for selfacceptance especially during moments of struggle or failurerdquo the Delhibased doctor explainsBuilding resilienceCompassion and forgiveness are the essence of any relationship including the most significant one with yourself Building resilience through selfcompassion becomes a key factor in overcoming challenges ldquoFaithmdashwhether in yourself or something biggermdashoffers a sense of grounding but it is important to remember that simple practices like focusing on happiness and gratitude can shift your mindset and help you appreciate lifersquos little joys Staying optimistic and holding onto hope gives you the strength to keep going even when things feel overwhelmingrdquo asserts Dr Malhotra He also suggests activities like yoga and meditation which can calm your mind and bring balance alongside being in the company of nature Taking time to enjoy nature and encouraging positive thoughts can also boost your mood helping you face challenges with patience and confidence5 ways to practice selfcompassion dailyTreat yourself like a friendImagine a friend came to you with the same problem yoursquore facing What would you say to them Use that same kindness and support with yourselfUse kind wordsReplace harsh judgmental thoughts with encouraging ones For instance if you fail at something instead of saying ldquoIrsquom such a failurerdquo try ldquoMistakes happenmdashitrsquos part of learning What can I take away from thisrdquoAcknowledge your feelingsPause and recognise what yoursquore feeling without judgment Remind yourself ldquoThis is hard right nowrdquo and give yourself permission to feel your emotions fullyTake a selfcompassion breakWhen things feel overwhelming step back Say to yourself ldquoIrsquom struggling and thatrsquos okay How can I be kind to myself right nowrdquo Whether itrsquos resting journaling or taking a walk prioritise what you needPractice mindfulnessRegular mindfulness meditation can help you stay present and avoid being swept away by negative thoughts It promotes a balanced compassionate response to challengesLongterm benefits of practicing selfcompassionPracticing selfcompassion can have a positive and longlasting impact on onersquos overall wellbeingBelow Malhotra delves into the holistic benefitsReduces selfcriticismInstead of beating yourself up over mistakes selfcompassion helps you acknowledge the difficulty and move forward When you treat yourself kindly you create a safe space to learn from mistakes rather than being paralysed by themEnhanced selfrelationshipIt helps you find inner peace and a genuine sense of satisfaction making it easier to build a healthier more positive relationship with yourself A selfcompassionate mindset leads to positive coping strategiesmdashlike seeking support or solving problemsmdashinstead of avoidance or denialImproved interpersonal relationshipsWhen yoursquore kinder to yourself it naturally reflects in your interactions with others leading to stronger more meaningful connectionsReduced stress and anxietyOver time it also helps lower stress and anxiety leaving you feeling more balanced and in control of your thoughts and emotions By staying mindful of your emotions you can avoid being overwhelmed or consumed by themImproved overall wellbeingSelfcompassion makes it easier to embrace vulnerability try new things and face uncertainty with courage As touched upon earlier selfcompassion helps boosts resilience so yoursquore better equipped to handle lifersquos challenges In the end it adds up to a happier more fulfilling quality of lifeatOptionskeyd0ddb8ef8f1a62a8cdd22fac27fc5ea7formatiframeheight90width728params