'My guy is taking me for granted...'

Dear Diana,
I've been with my boyfriend for three years, but he never seems to want to plan anything with me. He blames it on lack of time and finances yet he has just booked a week's holiday for his folks and he is going along too. I don't mind him doing that, but I do mind that he won't do anything for me. I feel lost and second best all the time and I think I deserve better.
— Uditi


Illustration/ Amit Bandre 

Dear Uditi,
Stop being the doormat — that is the reason you are not appreciated in the relationship. Your guy is taking you for granted as he has always had an upper hand in the relationship. You need to assert yourself and make him realise that he needs to make space for you as well as his folks. As you are not demanding, he continues to please the rest and not you. You need to tell him how you feel. He may laugh it off, but he needs to realise to respect your feelings. You have to be assertive too.

Dear Diana,
My husband is 44 and I'm 41. Ours was an arranged marriage and we have a 10-year-old daughter. I was of the opinion that everything was going along well, but looks like it was not. Last week, my hubby tells me that there is another woman in his life. I don't know how to handle the situation. Do I wait for him to realise this is just a mid-life crisis? He tells me that he won't leave me, but is attracted to this woman.
— Vijaya

Dear Vijaya
This is a serious matter and you don't have to wait to figure out why he is doing it. He has been indulging in an extramarital affair. You had no clue what was going on. Now that he has confessed, he needs to be taken to task. Chances are that in the future, he might dump you, so don't take things lying down. He has been cheating on you, so make him realise that what he is doing is wrong.