We forget we are in a relationship!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My best friend and I have been in a romantic relationship for around four months now. We decided to give it a try because we have known each other for years and slowly realised that we had feelings for each other. The problem is, we sometimes forget that we are a couple and treat each other as friends, which means we can be dismissive and just act as if the other person is someone who will always be around. Taking each other for granted is okay when you're not in a romantic relationship but it starts to feel a little disrespectful and I'm not sure how to change that behaviour. What can we do to change this?
I'm not sure taking anyone for granted is acceptable in any relationship, romantic or not. Settling into a different kind of relationship will obviously take time, but nothing stops either of you from being able to talk about how you feel when this happens. The advantage of being friends is huge and should be exploited, because it means you already have a level of comfort established between yourselves that can make communication easier. If you want to be treated differently, explain why. Ask your partner to share their perspective, too. This will take a while, but you will both get there eventually.

Is it okay for a guy to meet his ex-girlfriend even if he is in a committed relationship with someone? I don't want to be jealous or unreasonable, but I can't think of a reason why my boyfriend should meet his ex as often as he does.
You can always ask him, or accompany him, if it bothers you as much as it does. There's nothing wrong with two adults choosing to stay in touch after a relationship has ended, unless you have specific reasons to doubt him. Jealousy is natural but can also derail a healthy relationship.

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