His parents are very controlling!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 28-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a 30-year old guy. We are great together, but the big problem is his parents. They control every aspect of his life, from his job prospects to his finances, and I know they aren't thrilled about the fact that he is with me. They tolerate me because they know he loves me a lot, but I'm sure they make their disapproval felt whenever they get a chance. It feels as if it is only a matter of time before they convince him that there is someone better out there for him. This makes me sad because my boyfriend is a great person and I genuinely believe we can have a future together. I don't see a way out because I don't know if he will ever be able to step out of their shadow and become his own person. Should I just assume this will never work out based on how nothing has changed since I began dating him?
His parents may have an undue influence on him, but his inability to take decisions on his own is troubling for reasons other than how it has an impact on your relationship. A 30-year old incapable of taking a stand and defining a path for himself points to certain inevitable problems down the road. As an adult, you are responsible for defining your wants and expectations, and making decisions that bring you closer to achieving them. If he thinks you are important enough in his life, he has to do what it takes to make that obvious. If he doesn't, your relationship will hit other roadblocks even if you get around the problem of his parents. Being in love with someone is great, but it is also important to think about your future from a perspective of who this person is, and what he is capable of doing in order to make something work. Relationships succeed when two people are committed to doing what it takes.

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