Usne kiya inkaar, and I really don't know why!

Usne kiya inkaar, and I really don't know why!

Dear Diana,
For the last year and a half, I have been in love with a girl who's better looking than I am. We're good friends and even attend the same tuitions. I recently proposed to her (on Feb 9) and gave her time to think about the proposal. After our T Y B Com ended, we hardly met twice or thrice but were always in touch through phone. I always asked her to meet somewhere, but she refused. Then, on Feb 28, she called me and said, "My answer is no... and never call me at home again (She doesn't have a cellphone). I thought a lot wondering why she rejected me. Did I make any mistake? Did I propose properly?

Harish

Dear Harish,
Obviously, she's had enough time to think it over. And she has made her decision. If anything can change her mind now, it would be your persistence. She doesn't want to lead you on and give you false hopes. That's probably why she hasn't even told you clearly that she doesn't want you to call. Granted, it might beu00a0 because of pressure from her folks or for a myriad other reasons. Of course, she does owe it to you to tell you where you went wrong. Tell her you need to know why so you can get closure. And that you won't bother her after that, if that is what she wants.

She said NO!

Dear Diana,
I am a 20-year-old. I proposed to a girl but she told me to find someone else. That she can't be friends with me right now. She doesn't even attend my calls now. Help!

Confused

Dear Friend,
Did it come as a shock to her? Were you too pushy? Was she not prepared for a relationship? Was she already in a relationship? Are matters at home in a bad state? Has she been asked to concentrate on her studies or her career? Figure out why it is that she has rejected your proposal.

22 years on, I'm still masturbating...

Dear Diana,
I've been a frequent masturbator since the age of 15. I now am 37 years old, have been married for the last 12 years and have two babies too. Whenever I see any good-looking woman, I start dreaming of having sex with her, and it becomes a necessity that I masturbate saying her name. Sometimes, even when I have sex with my wife continuously for a couple of days, I still am not satisfied and masturbate. I need help!

Friend
u00a0
Dear Friend,
It's not something abnormal, per se. But the very fact, that it is a habit that has lasted a better part of two decades, is troubling. Also, that you should masturbate when there is need to (when you have a partner, why go for self-release?). It has become the ends rather than the means. Shouldn't happen, but it has.