He put me above his studies and so might flunk exams!

He put me above his studies and so might flunk exams!

Dear Diana,
I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 19. We're both giving our HSC exams and are deeply involved physically and emotionally. He has proved how much he loves me. But in the process of proposing to and convincing me to be his girlfriend, he lost his confidence and has stopped concentrating on his studies. Also, because of my silly mistakes, he has faced many problems but he never lost his temper with me. He is good at heart. The actual problem is that he saidu00a0 that his studies are incomplete and that he is going to fail the HSC exams. As such, I'm worried about the future of our relationship. He said if he fails in the exam, his parents will send him to his native place inu00a0 Ujjain to handle the business. What should I do: support him and be by his side OR leave him (the more difficult option)

Shona

Dear Shona,
So you win some, you lose some. Just don't lose heart. Since he did this all for you, why can't you pep him up and help him study for his exams. If he's motivated even a little bit, it will go a long way in regaining his confidence.u00a0 In any case, he won't lose anything. he will still have a career; just one that keeps him away from you. Leaving him when he needs you the most would only serve to devastate and demoralise him.

Love my girlfriend... but love my wife, too...

Dear Diana,
I am 36, good-looking, and a much married man. I have two children. I love my wife very much. She is my life. I have a girlfriend. She, too, is married. She wants to have sex with me. I'd like that, too. She says it can be our little secret. At the same time, I I don't wanna cheat my wife.
u00a0
Rahul

Dear Rahul,
There's something called responsibility that you appear to be found wanting in. If you really loved your wife, you wouldn't cheat on her, period! And this whole 'I wanna do the right thing' rigmarole doesn't work when you already say 'I'd like that'. In your mind, you've already decided you are going to give it a thought. After all, what she doesn't know won't harm her, right? You couldn't be more wrong. When you marry someone, you commit to that person and that person puts their trust that you will adhere to respectable conduct, at least around them. Don't go ahead with it.

She wants sex. Should I give in?

Dear Diana,
I am a 30-plus married man, with a three year old daughter. Now, over the last couple of years, I have become quite close to a colleague who resides in an another city, who has a broken marriage, I was sort of providing her emotional support to her in bad times, which has brought us closer, My friend is also inclined towards having a physical relationship, since she was being starved for bodily pleasures. Should I give in to our desires or just stay friends? She is aware of my married status.

A Friend

Dear Friend,
Wilful adultery will only make you drift apart from your spouse. Eventually, it isn't just going to be about 'bodily pleasures', she will soon begin to demand more and mroe of your time. Things are going to get more obvious than ever and soon, your wife is going to ask questions. Uncomfortable questions that you won't be able to lie to. Giving in to your desires will be easy enough. What will be difficult is bearing the consequences. Take a call.