Bro's wife mistreats them but they won't leave them...

Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

Dear Diana,

Illustration/sameer pawar

My brother's wife lives with my parents, mistreats them to the extent that they never have known any peace in the last five years. My brother works on a ship and always buys his wife's version of the 'truth'. My husband and I keep asking them to come live with us, but they refuse to, as they love being with their grandchildren [we just got married a year back and have no children yet], and can't bear the thought of being away from them. We live in a different city and they don't want to move.

Niti

Dear Niti,

It's not that they love you any lesser. It's not even that they don't want to be with you guys. It's just that they've gotten so used to certain things and so attached to certain people for many years, that the very thought of leaving that behind, leaves behind a sense of loss [however deceiving that sense may be]. They've all but given up the hope of fighting back any oppression. You could ask them to visit for a week or so, try and condition them to at least accept the possibility of a new beginning.u00a0

I feel stifled...

Dear Diana,

I have been married 18 years and he has only ever used me to produce children and have sex. He has never bothered about what I want in life. He also forced me to give up on my career, give up on my dreams of becoming a professional singer and despite all this has been an otherwise good husband. He has a good job and we have never known want. I feel stifled the way things are, though. The monotony is painful.

Pritha

Dear Pritha,

After 18 years, all that pent-up frustration coming to the fore must feel mighty relieving. But the question really is, why wait so long to react? Any strong opposition or your part would've lent credibility to your argument with him. You really shouldn't have let anyone [much less your husband] take you for granted. I'm sure you have a lot of free time on your hands now. Start practising singing yet again. It's never too late to keep learning.

How do I convince them our love is true?

Dear Diana,

I am a 24-year-old girl and come from a conservative family. I have never had a boyfriend until now. He loves me a lot and is willing to let go of everything for me. Currently, he is studying abroad but we keep in touch through emails, chat and sometimes phone conversations. Only problem is: he is two years younger than me. But my parents are seeking a groom who is at least three years older than me. How do I convince my parents that our love is true? I don't have the courage to speak to my parents neither can I break his heart. Please help.